4 Things to Ask Yourself While Dating in a Pandemic
Dating is hard enough in itself, and made even more complicated when you’re trying to be respectful of current pandemic-related regulations and guidelines. Now more so than ever, we’re realizing the importance of human connection to our mental well-being. While it might be tempting to enthusiastically jump onto the least repulsive dating app we have downloaded on our phones, it’s also important to be mindful of our communities’ health. Whether you’re looking for something casual or more long-term, here are some things to consider when deciding whether someone is actually “quarantine material”.
1. Do they respect your COVID boundaries?
While the steady global rollout of the vaccine is definitely something to be celebrated, it doesn’t mean we can abandon all of our precautions. In fact, Dr. Michelle Walensky, the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently warned of “impending doom” in the U.S. as COVID-19 cases continue to rise. She asked that people continue to wear masks in public spaces and practice social distancing to avoid a surge similar to the one seen in the summer of 2020, and the spikes currently happening in Europe.
This means that engaging in app hook-ups or casual friends with benefits may be less safe than ever. It’s important to make sure your partner(s) are communicative about the number of people they come into contact with and respectful of your personal COVID boundaries. If they aren’t, that’s a red flag for sure!
2. Are they supportive?
Extended time in quarantine has taken a very real toll on our physical and emotional well-being, and it’s important to surround yourself with people who are sympathetic to that. It might be helpful to ask yourself, can you have honest conversations with this person about your mental health and whatever you happen to be struggling with at the moment? If the answer is no, they might not be someone worth entering a commitment with at the moment.
3. Do they set aside time for the two of you to spend together?
Being in quarantine has made it more difficult to see the people we love safely. Do(es) your partner(s) put in effort and set aside time to spend together? If you are choosing not to see each other in person, do they make time to video call or talk on the phone? If you do see each other in person, are they taking measures to protect and respect your health? (Such as getting tested, wearing a mask in public spaces, etc.).
4. Are you in the place to be a healthy partner at the moment?
Lastly, take a step back and look at yourself as well. Evaluate your own current emotional capacity, love languages, health, wants and needs. Are you in a place where you can put in the time and care needed for nurturing a healthy and reciprocal relationship? If your love language is physical touch or quality time, how are you going to manage your expectations and adapt to the situation?
Also take into account your personal health, the health of your partner(s) and the COVID boundaries of the people you live with. While having flings and relationships are fun, the wellness of you and the people you live with come first!
Written by Lisa Kwan
