Since You Asked: How to Manifest Your Dream Partner
Love is not something that comes easy to me. I tell my current partner I’ve had “lots of experience” from past dating and relationships, but really, he’s the only guy that has stuck around to see me in my truest form: in baggy sweatpants, no makeup on, crazy hair, and tired eyes.
Still, it’s taken me (and him too, probably) a lot to get to the point where we both feel satisfied with a relationship. Before him, I didn’t know what I wanted in a boyfriend -- I just saw a person I liked (or rather, a person I knew liked me). I would date them even though I could tell “we just weren’t on the same wavelength,” but would wait until THEY dumped ME, because at that time, I would rather be with someone who I knew wasn’t that compatible with me, than be single and hopelessly waiting for someone who was.
That was when I was a freshman in college.
Now, I’m wrapping up my junior year, and as I said, I’m in a relationship with someone that continues to exceed my expectations of what love should look like. Albeit, things haven’t been perfect every step of the way (our first year together was a huge learning curve), but I know I did something different with my partner this time around that I never considered possible with previous relationships -- I manifested him.
By “manifesting,” I don’t just mean I prayed to God and waited.
I mean I made a commitment to myself to reflect on what I wanted out of a life partner, pictured myself having them, and trusted they’d come into my life when the universe’s ”divine timing” said it was right.
I think I’m a little crazy for believing I manifested him too, but I truly don’t know how to explain it any other way. And I can’t guarantee that it can happen for everyone, but in case you’ve been wanting to try it, here are some ways you can go about manifesting your dream partner.
Curiosity and Educating Myself
One night while scrolling through YouTube, I stumbled upon a video that told me I could manifest a text from anyone I wanted. Intrigued, I watched it, followed along, and actually got a Snapchat from the person I was interested in at the time. It was initially a little confusing and kinda freaked me out, but I marveled at the effect.
After the text had worked, I went down the rabbit-hole of the internet and ended up watching every kind of law of attraction video there was -- including, how it was possible to manifest your dream partner. It became my life to absorb all that I could about how to find a love that had passion, while still having longevity and could prosper. I took on other forms of media to learn everything that I could. I started enjoying hard copy books again, which I haven’t done since middle school (my personal favorite was Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love). I began listening to podcasts and going on walks (and if I was speed-walking, I was killing two birds with one stone). Even my Instagram explore-page became all about spiritual affirmations.
Looking back, the obsession was borderline unhealthy, but the point is that I realized something about my love life: My thoughts and attitudes about a person or a situation would affect my emotions, and how I felt about the situation. My emotions greatly impacted how I chose to act in a lot of situations, which led to me receiving outcomes that weren’t what I’d wanted. Why? Because my thoughts and feelings were more negative, which spiraled into poor actions and, henceforth, my results in love weren’t what I wanted. So, I started to think happier thoughts moving forward.
Scripting Techniques
It’s easier said than done to just start thinking happy thoughts. For me, especially through my late teens, I got into a habit of ruminating about bad relationships, which I realized was holding me back from more positive self-talk. So, instead of staying inside my own head, I started “scripting,” a kind of journaling where you focus on specific aspects of something (or in this case, someone) you’re trying to attract into your life. This helped me get past negative self-talk, so I have a couple points on getting started with this way of journaling.
My most important tip for scripting is this: Get as specific as you can about what you’re trying to attract. Not only about what our ideal partner looks like, but what they sound like, what their interests are, things that are part of a personality that you enjoy. For example, over time I realized it was important to me to have a partner with some connection to his ethnic background (and, oddly enough, my boyfriend was born in his family’s native country… I would even mark him “proficient” in understanding the language). Other scripting ideas could include: “my person is emotionally available to me and is single when we meet,” or “we like to do [insert your activity here] together.” Is there an ideal profession your person has? What kind of goals do they have? The list goes on!
Being specific not only tells you what kind of person you want to align with in your life, but it also tells the universe what you aim to have. If you believe in the Law of Attraction, this means the universe will likely bring you that specific thing you desire when you have enough detail about what you want.
Even if someone’s not a big believer in the ability to manifest, this brain-dump is a fun way to plan your future in terms of a relationship. And, if you’re actively dating, comparing entries to who you’re dating can be a way of checking in with yourself and how well your person is meeting your needs. If not, it’s up to you to make the choice to either adjust the relationship to fit what you want (because you deserve no less than what you desire), or look for something better.
The other thing that made a difference in my ability to script was labeling emotions and feelings associated with my ideal partner. I don’t know the exact rationale behind this, but again, emotions lead to actions and outcomes. The other thing I do know is that the universe picks up on emotions greatly. So to me, writing down positive emotions of feeling love and happiness meant I could better pinpoint what emotions I wanted to feel with a partner. Writing things like “when I am with my person, I feel [insert emotions like joy/warmth/peaceful/fun/lust here]” can make the world of a difference, because you can pinpoint what you want to experience.
Putting it All Into Practice
Now that we’ve asked for what we want, what do we do?
The “final step” is the waiting period. Initially, I wasn’t sure what to do during this time.
A later realization was the happiness I’d asked for was not exclusive to having a partner. In other words, even though we set the intention to feel those emotions with someone, we don’t need to wait to feel happy. I did things that made me feel just that way -- spending more time with friends, and learning how to be my own friend, were things I’ve never done in my life, but life is too short to wait on your dream person for love and happiness. And, in creating that for myself, I think the universe registered the emotions I was emanating, and gave me more of that (including my significant other).
Manifesting your ideal partner is a tiresome task, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But making this habit of putting thoughts down on paper and making positive emotions more tangible worked wonders for my confusing love life. I was set up to think good thoughts about my relationships moving forward, and that put me at an increased chance of attracting someone good into my life. It helped me also realize I had some non-negotiables when it came to my romantic relationships, and that I didn’t deserve anything remotely close to what I’d experienced in my previous relationships. And when I started feeling happier more often, I didn't have time or energy to ruminate or worry anymore. And inherently, good feelings brought about positive actions and outcomes.
If you aren’t satisfied with the love life you have, don’t wait around for someone you’re feeling “eh” about to fall for you like I did. Be the star that you are and get that which you desire.
Written by Nhatalya Pagtakhan
