Self Love Letter: The One About Our Hair
Photo via Brittany Maylyn Du Bois
Hey, Little Me.
Your hair is beautiful. Your hair is versatile. It is powerful and it is all you.
Your hair is yours. It isn’t a self spectacle or up for an exhibit at a petting zoo. It is your delightful mane, a form of expression and freedom.
Your hair is like a rose bush — if you don’t handle it with care, you’re sure to hit some thorns. Don’t fight it. Move with it.
Your mother used to talk about how much she adores your curls and fluff. How much she loves the texture and volume. Yet you relied on the opinions of your young peers to find the love in your own locks.
I’m telling you right now, that as an adult, your hair has become one of your tools for self-empowerment.
The cute braids and twist-outs that you were nervous about showing at school? The ones that people would sometimes say were “adorable” and “fun.” All that praise you ignored? Well, good news — you now take those compliments. You own them. You embrace them. You no longer say “Thank you but...” You just say “Thank you.” Because what else is there to say?
Before we denied them because we didn’t see those styles around us. We didn’t see them much at school or on the TV. We didn’t see them on the big screen or on the cover of magazines. We didn’t see them as a form of beauty because the world didn’t allow them to be, or at least, it tried.
The kids in school would go on about how soft and silky other people’s hair were, and you felt left out, but know that was merely because society didn’t quite grasp the true beauty of our curls and kinks. Of the frizz and volume. Of the density and release that’s felt when our hair hits the water and soaks it all in.
But now we love it. We do. Now our hair is our crown. It’s our fine art. We shape it into whatever glory we want. We let it live. We do not hide it. It is cherished and it is adored.
Listen, Little Me. I think the world of your hair. It’s your hair, and no one else’s. It is heavy and sometimes gets in the way, but only because it doesn’t want you to forget about where you come from. It is thick and often hard to comb through, but only because it doesn’t want you to forget how resilient you are to pain and past struggle. It is big and sometimes dull, but only because it doesn’t want you to forget that you are the one that shines.
Our hair, just like any of our lovely features, is a testament to our rich heritage, our powerful ancestry, our tale of our people’s work and plight and move towards liberation.
If you could see me right now, you would cry with joy. You would hold me tight and shout “Finally!” Because I know you, and I know how much you crave to be your true unapologetic self. How much you want to reject the beauty standard that has been set by the media for decades.
I have always been your biggest fan and greatest advocate, and you, my inspiration. And that’s why you should let your hair be free, Little Me.
Yours Truly,
Brittany May
Written by Brittany Maylyn Du Bois
